Become an Agent 2015 Post #6

Title: STRAW SALT GOLD
Genre: YA Fantasy
Word Count: 84,000

Query:

Sixteen-year-old orphan Rumilla Coe is known for her fine hand with spinning, weaving, and embroidery. The extra money her craft brings is the only thing keeping her and her brother from starving, while she works for a pittance at an industrial mill.

When the flax on her spinning wheel transforms to gold beneath her fingertips, Rumilla thinks she’s solved the problem of her dire poverty. But what she’s really unraveled is a world of trouble. It wasn’t a miracle that turned straw into gold. It was sulfur-soaked alchemical science, and in the city of Baden-Platz being an alchemist is punishable by death.

When Halle Brachmant, the spoiled mill-owner's daughter, finds Rumilla slumped over a spinning machine with gold on the wheel, greed propels her to claim she spun it herself. Halle is hailed as a miracle worker, blessed by the gods and untainted by alchemy. Rumors of the straw-spun gold spread beyond the mill and the slums, catching the imagination of the city and the attention of fanatical Prince Casmir. He orders Halle to spin gold three more times to prove that she is truly blessed.

With Halle's public face and Rumilla’s golden formula, the pair must rely on each other to survive. Because if Casmir discovers who is really spinning gold, both girls will lose their heads.

Complete at 84,000 words STRAW, SALT, GOLD, is a YA fantasy reimagining of Rumpelstiltskin, if Rumpelstiltskin were a teenage alchemist spinning gold to prevent her execution. Told alternately from Rumilla and Halle’s point of view, STRAW, SALT, GOLD will appeal to fans of Rosamund Hodge’s Cruel Beauty and Sarah Fine’s Of Metal and Wishes.

First 250:

Crack.

A sickening noise echoes through the flat, breaking my concentration. The wool I spin snaps, as the spinning wheel flies forward, and I topple over. Yarn tangles and splits in the bobbins, catching around the spokes of the wheel. I brush the dust from my skirt and relight my oil lamp to better survey the damage.

My heart sinks.

The spinning wheel, wedged into the hatbox of a room, is cracked in two, with its support beam split in half. All of its parts; crank, flyer, and treadle, list precariously. The soft merino wool my older brother Braun traded for, hoping to sell my handiwork for cabbages and bread, is a tangled mess. At best it will need to be re-carded.

A half days work gone in a pop and a flash.

The wheel must be fixable. It must be. As gently as I can, I lay the great wheel on its side, wishing for a miracle. I’ve patched my wheel before, held it together with beeswax, tar, and prayers. The fixes were crude, but they worked when we needed them. This time, to keep the rot from spreading the support beam will need to be removed and replaced.

In my heart, I hear Braun sighing; “Oh Rumilla, another expense?”

Wiping the grime on my skirt, I pick up my wrench from the toolbox. I’ll take in the part to salvage, instead of dwelling on the destroyed fiber.

Just another piece of ill-luck, in two years overflowing with ill-luck.

Query: 

Sixteen-year-old Rumilla Coe’s talent for spinning yarn is the only thing keeping her and her brother from starving. When the flax on her spinning wheel transforms to gold beneath her fingertips, Rumilla thinks she’s solved the problem of her dire poverty. But what she’s actually done is unravel a world of trouble. It wasn’t a miracle that turned straw into gold. It was sulfur-soaked alchemical science, and in the city of Baden-Platz practicing alchemy is punishable by death.

Halle Brachmant, the spoiled mill-owner's daughter, finds Rumilla slumped over a spinning machine with gold on the wheel. Greed propels Halle to claim she spun the flax, with the blessing of the gods. When rumors of the gold spread beyond the mill and the slums, the story catches the attention of fanatical Prince Casmir, who will do anything to destroy alchemy. He orders Halle to spin three more times, using her blessed gold to fund his purges. Desperate and unable to spin, Halle blackmails Rumilla into helping her.

If Rumilla and Halle are going to survive Casmir’s volatile trials, they’ll need to rely on each other. Because, if Casmir discovers who is really spinning gold both girls will lose their heads. And Casmir’s hatred of alchemy will tear Baden-Platz apart.

Complete at 84,000 words STRAW SALT GOLD, is a YA fantasy reimagining of Rumpelstiltskin. Told alternately from Rumilla and Halle’s point of view, STRAW SALT GOLD will appeal to fans of Rosamund Hodge’s Cruel Beauty and Sarah Fine’s Of Metal and Wishes.

First 250 : 

Crack.
The wool I spin snaps, as the spinning wheel flies forward, and I topple over. Yarn tangles and splits in the bobbins, catching around the spokes of the wheel. I brush the dust from my skirt and relight my oil lamp to better survey the damage.

My heart sinks.

The spinning wheel, wedged into a corner of my hatbox-sized room, is cracked in two, with its support beam split in half. All of its parts—crank, flyer, and treadle—list precariously. The soft merino wool my older brother Braun traded for, hoping to sell my handiwork for cabbages and bread, is a tangled mess. At best it will need to be re-carded.

A half days work gone in a pop and a flash.

The wheel must be fixable. As gentle as I can, I lay the great wheel on its side, wishing for a miracle. I’ve patched my wheel before, held it together with beeswax, tar, and prayers. The fixes were crude, but they worked when we needed them. This time, to keep the rot from spreading, the support beam will need to be replaced.

In my heart, I hear Braun sighing; “Oh Rumilla, another expense?”

Wiping the grime on my skirt, I pick up my wrench from the toolbox. I’ll take in the part, instead of dwelling on the destroyed fiber.

Just another piece of ill-luck, in two years overflowing with ill-luck.

The yarn I spun would have been worth five coppers at least.