QK Round 3: Beauty and the Crazy Kidnapper vs. Love is Hell

Entry Nickname: Beauty and the Crazy Kidnapper
Title: Stealing Fire
Word count: 75,000
Genre: Paranormal Romance

Query:

Ella’s life for her father’s. It’s the easiest decision she ever made.

When Ella traces her missing father to a decaying mansion, she's shocked to find him being held captive by a beautiful man. He offers to let her father go free, but only if Ella stays behind.

Lucian isn't just a crazy kidnapper wrapped in eye candy. He's the head of a group of shape shifters who live as humans by day and monsters by night. Desperate to discover why none of his kind have been born in centuries, Lucian stole Ella's father, a scientist who’d worked with Lucian’s species on the fertility crisis before abruptly quitting decades ago. When Ella shows up and is immune to Lucian's powers, he sees a chance to get answers, certain the scientist hid them in Ella’s DNA.

Ella willingly trades places with her father and becomes Lucian’s prisoner. He gives her everything she could possibly want except her freedom. The more time she spends with Lucian, the harder it is to deny he’s a ruthless monster. Even so, with every sideways glance and accidental touch, she becomes more confused and Lucian comes closer to forgetting she’s not his.

But their days together are limited. Lucian has enemies, and they’ll do anything to keep his species from expanding. As they close in, Lucian realizes the safest place for Ella is far away from him, and Ella must decide if her old, normal life is really where she belongs. But a true beast would never give up so easily.

First 250 words:
Ella shoved open the door to the sheriff’s office, slamming it against the wall. So what if all the deputies were staring. Let them know she was angry.

Tyler glanced up from the paperwork scattered across his desk, a lazy grin planted on his face. “Ella, if you really want to see me, all you have to do is call,” he said with his signature drawl that had all the women in the small Maine town of Pine Springs drooling.

All the women except Ella.

“Have you found him?” she asked, crossing her arms over her chest.

Tyler stood up from behind the desk, towering over her five-four frame. “We were able to track your father’s car down, but couldn’t find any sign of him. Like we told you before, he’s probably with someone at that conference you mentioned.”

“He wouldn’t run off without telling me, and I haven’t talked to him in over a week. Besides, you said he never checked in at the Lexington Hotel.”

Tyler nodded like he was listening, but she recognized the glazed-over look in his eyes. He’d already written her off. “Normally, that would be troubling, but you can’t exactly call Dr. Murray ‘normal’.”

What the hell? Tyler might be arrogant, but he was good at his job. Now it seemed like he didn’t even care. “Why aren’t you taking this seriously?”

Tyler moved around the desk and set a hand on her shoulder. “Why don’t you take a walk to collect yourself? I’ll swing by your place after my shift ends and we can discuss this over dinner.”

VS

Entry Nickname: Love is Hell
Title: Daughter of Lilith
Word Count: 71,000
Genre: YA Paranormal

Query:

As a half-demon, sixteen-year-old Ariel rips souls from the living as casually as mortals order coffee.

Raised by her abusive headmistress, Batal, Ariel blindly accepts all humans as a blight on the world. But when a car accident leaves her stranded, a minister’s son, Mike Flannery, goes beyond the call of duty to help. His genuine concern forces Ariel to question her education.

Mike’s kindness and sincerity suggests he’s not the filthy slime her teacher claims him to be. She soon realizes he brings out something in her she didn’t know she had - humanity. Feeling deceived, Ariel runs away and vows to never again let Batal or anyone else manipulate her. However, Batal is not about to let one of her pawns escape without a fight.

Now the renegade demon realizes letting Mike into her life endangers them both. Ariel is faced with a choice as cruel as the punishments she endured from her teacher. She can deny her new feelings and walk away to protect Mike from the creatures of Hell, or confront her sadistic headmistress, risking an eternity of suffering for a chance at love.

First 250:

I stand over the young woman asleep on her side, next to a male. An elongated pillow rests between her knees and under her enlarged belly.

Searching the bedroom – as I must – I look for any signs that would prevent me from fulfilling my duty. As usual, there are none. No one from today remembers the ancient agreement.

I return to the bed. Glaring down at her mate, the corners of my mouth tighten into a scowl. How can any self-respecting female allow a son of Adam to defile her? The bile in my stomach churns creating a bitter taste in my mouth, making me want to spit. Control, Ariel. Stay in control.

I’m not here for him. He is not my purpose. I must serve the Mother the way I’m expected. Taking a deep breath, I return to my task.

Holding out my hand, palm facing down I listen to the expectant mother’s breathing. Her heartbeat comes into focus, slow and rhythmic. Moving my hand so it hovers over her belly, another heartbeat emerges, faster but still harmonious – the child’s.

Directing all my attention on the mother’s womb, a gentle, soft glow made from thousands of faintly illuminated sand-like particles rise from the woman’s stomach. It grows in intensity as I gradually lift my hand. The crystals follow, collecting below my open palm forming into a baseball size orb.

It always fascinates me, what the soul looks like outside of the body, maybe because I don’t have one myself, none of us half-breeds do.